Sorry readers, between the Superbowl, This is Us, this flu season, and a new semester I (we) have been really busy. This led us to ponder on the topic of toxicity and how it affects us and the things we do or don’t do. As you saw in our IG toxic post, we used pictures taken during a time where we were surrounded by toxic people, relationships, and/or environments.
Don’t get me wrong there is nothing toxic about the Eagles winning, Sunday and Tuesday night’s episode of This is Us, or my new students, but the Flu sucks! It’s nothing more than toxic crap that puts a stop to a lot of things.
So why or how is it that we allow all of this toxicity to affect our lives. In my case, I simply did not see it coming, okay I’m pretty sure I did see it coming. I thought I had it all. A house. A wife. Children. A career, but with all of those great accolades I wasn’t happy with myself. With my situation. I gained 30 pounds, lost my backbone, self respect, and my self-esteem. It got to the point where I honestly believed what I was being told. For a long time, I suffered the antics of a scorned woman I mean I kinda deserved it though. The problem wasn’t what she was doing, the problem centered around her being convinced that she should be allowed to make me suffer for it however long she wanted… and I almost let her. It was at the point where I reflected on the guy I once was versus the man I was that day. I was merely a shell of the man I knew I could be.
So it was time for a change! Leaving that toxic relationship was not hard at all, it was what I was leaving behind that hurt the most. The choice I made that day was between staying in the marriage for the kids, but sacrificing my happiness or leaving the marriage behind, but regaining my identity. The only thing I could think of was having my children grow up seeing how two people should not interact with each other and that was enough motivation to stay away. We simply could not work things out. She had all the power and I just wanted to be free.
Today, I’m only 10 pounds heavier than my 24 year old self. I’m happier than ever. I have my life back. I found the woman I was always meant to be with and my kids get to witness a much happier father now. So much so, that my daughter has stated how much I have changed and she will be turning 7 this weekend.
Needless to say, TOXICITY SUCKS! If and when you find yourself in a toxic situation you need to first reflect, pray, and talk to your most trustworthy friend or family member. You need to decide if the life you are currently living is actually worth living. If it is, then go for it. Shoot for the stars, BUT gain back your sense of self, respect, and/or worth. Just because it didn’t work for me doesn’t mean it won’t for you.
BUT if you decide that you need a better situation then I give you the same challenge: gain back your sense of self, respect, and/or worth. After you find yourself, I promise you the one who you are meant to be with- the person who will help you flourish- WILL show up at the perfect time, when you least expect it. Don’t give up! True love awaits just around the riverbend. (Sorry, I had to do that)
Diary of Two Teachers 